Yesterday, I was finally able to see you for the first time in five months. You wrapped your arms around me and asked me how I was doing.
Fighting back tears, I wanted to say,
'I am so miserable now that you are never in my life anymore. I've waited months to see you here like this and now our time together is almost up, and I have no idea when I'll get to see you next, if ever again. You are the only person I've ever loved and it hurts so fucking much to see you doing so well while I'm lying on my bedroom floor every night, crying until my eyes are burning and swollen into the next day.'
Instead, my entire body shaking, I flashed a small smile and weakly responded with,
'I'm doing okay.'
You believed the lie, and honestly, I wish you hadn’t."
is your heart supposed to pound for ten minutes straight after you answer one question in class